Two Hearts
by Sphynx1
Summary: Ok guys...Here's the sap and angst of my first songfic...R&R...PLEASE!
1. Two Friends

Title: Two Hearts: Two Friends  
  
Author: Sphynx  
  
Warnings/Pairings: ANGST!!!! 3x4, AU (slightly), OOC Trowa  
  
Disclaimers: *takes a deep breath* I don't own them, nor do I own the pretty songs. The song here ("Two Friends") is written and performed by Sam Hensley, a friend of mine, so don't steal, or I will personally come after you. Now that wasn't too traumatic. *goes off to cry after posting b/c she hates admitting the boys aren't hers*  
  
You've always made me laugh, when I was down,  
  
You always knew how to make, a smile from frown,  
  
but now you're going away.  
  
and now you're going away.  
  
Trowa had been staying there for a week or so. He and Quatre had become fast friends, quickly becoming close in the days they spent playing together on their instruments. Quatre had once remarked that when Trowa played, he told more about himself than any other time. But now it was time for Trowa to move on. He really hated to do it, but he had been taking advantage of Quatre's unending hospitality for too long now. Plus he was getting too close. Friendship was fine, but Trowa was starting to feel more towards Quatre. A lot more than he wanted to feel right now. It was a bit unsettling. He told Quatre that morning that he was leaving.  
  
Quatre didn't want him to go, it tore his heart out. Had he done something wrong? He didn't think Trowa was leaving for no reason, but Trowa wouldn't give one. He appreciated Trowa as a friend, and he felt for Trowa something more than friendship. It would hurt to let him go. Everything that they had done stood out in his mind when Trowa told him he was leaving. They had had such a wonderful time. Quatre had learned so much about Trowa in their time together. Trowa was an amazing musician; he had the ability to make his thoughts known through the notes he played. Trowa was quiet, yes, but still, he couldn't hide his emotions from Quatre. They came out in the subtlest ways, but they were there for Quatre to see.  
  
A thousand thoughts were running through Trowa's head. He didn't really want to go, Quatre made him happy, but he couldn't stay either. He was getting to be too vulnerable with Quatre around. Quatre was bringing out a side he hadn't known for years, and that was confusing him. Quatre made him feel wanted, something he hadn't known for a long time.  
  
And I can't, bear the clouds that you always pushed away,  
  
you said smile don't worry, I'll be back again some day  
  
And now you've left me be, but do you  
  
know just what you've meant to me.  
  
Trowa made his preparations to go. He packed the clothes he had and called his sister to let her know he was coming. Catherine was thrilled to hear form him, and she was insistent that he stay with her. She let him know that he could work with the circus when he got there. What he didn't mention to his sister was why he was leaving and she knew better than to ask.  
  
Now all Trowa had to do was say goodbye. It was the hardest thing to do, but still, no emotion showed on his face. Quatre cried, just a little though. It hurt to know that Trowa really was leaving. There was the possibility they would never see each other again, and the parting meant more to each because of the feelings they could not share.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Never have I called and you weren't there,  
  
Always giving me love, you showed me care,  
  
but now you're going away.  
  
and now you're going away.  
  
Little did they know what they were to lose when Trowa left, but the loss was apparent the next day. Quatre instinctively went to look for Trowa when he woke up, only to remember that he had left. When he realized this, he thought there would never be a time when they could share music again.  
  
*******  
  
Trowa went back to the circus. He knew the chances of seeing Quatre again were few, but still, he missed the sound of Quatre's voice in the morning. He never knew how much he had liked to hear Quatre in the morning waking him up, but now he missed it. The pain was horrendous; he didn't know what to do about it, either.  
  
Catherine knew something was wrong with her brother. He didn't talk much, but that wasn't new. It was the look in his eyes at night before bed, and the way his flute was carefully put away as if it evoked memories too painful for him to bear. But still, she refrained from asking why he had left Quatre. Then his performance was starting to be affected. Finally she asked. He wouldn't answer.  
  
*******  
  
Quatre couldn't stand it anymore. The pain was consuming his soul, eating it away from the inside out. But he wouldn't call Trowa, no matter how much it hurt. Iria noticed, as did Rashid. They wondered why Quatre would cry early in the morning and late at night. Iria, as his sister, was the one who asked him what was wrong. At first the pain was to great for him to tell her, but he did answer her queries as to whether it was because Trowa had left. She hated seeing her brother in so much pain, but she could do nothing.  
  
And I can't, bear the clouds that you always pushed away,  
  
you said smile don't worry, I'll be back again some day,  
  
And now you've left me be, but do you  
  
know just what you've meant to me. 


	2. Comin' Home

Title: Two Hearts: Comin' Home  
  
Author: Sphynx  
  
Warnings/Pairings: Trowa angst/OOC, 3x4  
  
Disclaimers: *takes a deep breath* I don't own them. Not the boys, not the songs. The song used here ("Comin' Home") is written and performed by Sam Hensley, and therefore belongs to him. He just happens to be a friend of mine, and you will face MY wrath if you steal it. Now that wasn't so hard, was it? *goes off to cry b/c she can't own the boys*  
  
I'm alone upon this ride,  
  
traveling through this lonely night,  
  
and I don't have a real clear view,  
  
but I'm comin home to you  
  
Trowa couldn't feel anything. The emotionless stare that had been his salvation earlier, was what he was truly what he felt in his heart. Well, almost, the pain form leaving Quatre was there, but he pushed it aside. He had gone back to the boy he was long ago, the one Catherine had first met. He didn't care whether he lived or died. As long as he wasn't with Quatre, life was painful to bear.  
  
*******  
  
It had been a year that Quatre and Trowa hadn't seen or spoken to each other. A year ago yesterday that their hearts had been torn asunder when Trowa had left the Winner estate to go back to the circus. Both still felt the pain acutely, especially Quatre, who didn't know why Trowa had left him. No longer did a violin's music grace the halls of the Winner house; Quatre hadn't played since Trowa left, and everyone mourned the loss of the beautiful music. After Trowa left, he had immersed himself in work, trying to dull the pain that rend his heart in two. It worked, now the pain was just a dull throb in his breast.  
  
*******  
  
Trowa couldn't handle the pain anymore; it was too much to bear. He left the circus, and went to the colony where he had heard Quatre was. He didn't know if Quatre would forgive him for leaving, although he knew how forgiving Quatre was. He found an apartment near his Quatre, and sent a note. He wanted Quatre to know he was here, that was all. He loved Quatre, and that was the only thing he knew.  
  
I am comin home to you,  
  
I am comin home to you,  
  
with all the loving that you do,  
  
I am comin home to you  
  
Quatre knew before he read the signature who the note was from. The handwriting was painfully familiar, and his heart had yearned for such a note for months. It was simple; all Trowa said was that he was in the city, would Quatre see him. Quatre asked the message boy to take a reply quickly. "Yes, come see me, please, I have missed you," he said this aloud, as if Trowa could hear him, as he wrote the reply. Oh, how he yearned for the moment when Trowa would appear on the doorstep.  
  
*******  
  
Trowa looked at the note in amazement. There was no word of reproach, Quatre was asking him to come, and Quatre had said that he had missed him. He left the apartment, and headed towards Quatre's house.  
  
There is no car that I can't drive,  
  
and a train won't take me to the skies,  
  
but still my journey isn't through,  
  
cause I'm comin home to you  
  
Trowa walked, thinking as he went whether Quatre could forgive him. He reached the boy's house too soon. As he stood at the door waiting for the answer to his knock, he thought about just leaving. But then he realized how much it would hurt to that, he would rather Quatre not forgive him than not know what could have happened.  
  
*******  
  
Quatre heard the knock and ran down to answer the door before any of the few servants he had with him. There was Trowa, a thin, tired Trowa, but Trowa all the same. Quatre couldn't help his urge to gather Trowa into an embrace. He felt like he was whole again standing there with his true love in his arms. Holding him close, Quatre realized how thin Trowa had gotten, there was little to him other than skin and bones. He couldn't help but think what was wrong with him, but he realized he would need an explanation as to why Trowa had left the year before. But first the two must get used to each other again.  
  
"Trowa, you came just in time for dinner, would you like to join me?"  
  
"Yes, I would like that," it was innocent enough; Trowa knew that by accepting the dinner invitation, he could prolong the inevitable explanation that was needed for a little while longer.  
  
They ate dinner, something Arabic and spicy, but very delicious. Quatre waited for Trowa to tell him why he had left, but by dessert, he knew he would have to ask, but not at the table.  
  
"Would you like to join me for tea in my sitting room?"  
  
"If you wish," Trowa knew now there was no way to say no, Quatre would want an explanation, and now was the time. The two went to the sitting room and settled comfortably. Quatre wasn't going to push, he knew Trowa would resent that, so he sat and waited. He didn't have to wait long.  
  
I am comin home to you,  
  
I am comin home to you,  
  
with all the loving that you do,  
  
I am comin home to you  
  
"You want to know why I left." It was more a statement than a question, so Quatre waited for Trowa to continue. "I am sorry, I didn't know what to do, I was in love, and I didn't know if I was loved back." Quatre's heart sank, thinking that his love would go unrequited. "So I ran from the one I loved, thinking it was better to leave than cause myself pain by staying. I was wrong, it caused me too much pain, so I have come back to tell you that I love you and I am sorry I have ever left. If you cannot love me, at least you will know why I left." Trowa got up to leave as Quatre sat dumbfounded is his chair. Then Quatre had to say something; he wouldn't be left a second time.  
  
"Wait, Trowa!" Trowa turned around, "did you mean what you said?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Quatre started to cry; Trowa quickly came to his side.  
  
"Are you alright"  
  
"Just happy, downright joyous, because I love you, and you came back to me." Trowa took Quatre into his arms at those words, enjoying his nearness. He thought about what had happened that past year, it had been awful without Quatre. So much had happened in the year he had been gone, and he knew that Quatre would need to know. A tear made its way down his face. It hurt to think that he had done something that would let Quatre down, but still it must told.  
  
This heavy load it weighs me down,  
  
I trip and fall onto this lonely ground,  
  
and I'm so scared I cannot move,  
  
but you pick me up, you pull me through  
  
"You're crying," the statement said in disbelief brought Trowa back to the present. He looked down at Quatre and saw concern in his love's eyes. For a moment he didn't know why Quatre sounded so surprised, then he realized that he had never cried like this in front of Quatre before.  
  
"I am sorry, mayhaps mine are tears of joy partly, but they are also tears of pain. It was a hard road coming here." Trowa bowed his head and took a couple of deep breaths, trying to prepare himself for the telling of his painful tale. He couldn't see the pained look in Quatre's eyes, but despite the questions Quatre must have had, he remained silent, waiting for Trowa to continue. Trowa looked up and finally continued.  
  
"I left you thinking to start a new life, and I did. I went back to the circus and Catherine, but I couldn't think of anything but you. There was one point when I got so distracted; she wouldn't let me work in the knife- throwing act. I soon found that drinking helped. I could once again leave emotion behind and work for the now of things. It didn't help, though, when I thought of you, so I just ended up drinking more and more." Trowa's voice was starting to get weighed down with emotion, and tears were spilling out of Quatre's eyes. Telling his story to Quatre was one of the hardest things to do, because it went against all he learned. But he continued.  
  
I am comin home to you,  
  
I am comin home to you,  
  
with all the loving that you do,  
  
I am comin home to you  
  
"Soon, it wasn't because I was distracted that Catherine wouldn't let me work, but it was because I was never sober enough to keep my head in the act. That was a couple of months ago, and she gave me an ultimatum on the drinking. She said that I had to stop or she would kick me out. I had no choice, so I slowed down, and eventually stopped completely. Then the pain came back. She said it would help if I went to the source of the pain. And that started me thinking that if I could tell you how I felt about you, I would feel better myself, and I came." Tears were slowly working down Trowa's face at this point, and his tale was finally done with. Quatre could hardly contain his crying, and he buried his face in Trowa's chest, sobbing. Trowa sat there and held him, waiting for Quatre to calm down.  
  
I reach out and take your hand,  
  
brother walk with me you'll understand  
  
we'll take care of all those blues,  
  
we are comin home…  
  
Somehow Quatre got his crying under control. He looked from the circle of Trowa's arms, up at his dear one's face, "It's alright now, you're here, and I'll never let you hurt like that again. We'll never leave each other without knowing we'll be together again someday." Trowa looked down at him and was filled with hope and love. Trowa wanted to hold Quatre for all eternity at that moment.  
  
"I'd like that, I'll never leave you again." 


End file.
